The Darkness of My Past
by Shadouge4Ever
Summary: This is an autobiography about Shadow's life. Shadouge-ish.


The Darkness of my Past

Chapter 1

My name is Shadow the Hedgehog. Some people think of me as dark, cruel, and aggressive. Not everything everyone says is true. However, I do have feelings for my partner, Rouge. She helps me with my missions—not that I _need_ help or anything—and usually looks out for me. So yeah, I would have feelings for her. I would also sacrifice my life for her. I would do a lot of things for that gorgeous bat.

There's also Dr. Eggman. He's an evil genius with an IQ of 300! Even _I'm_ impressed. Dr. Eggman gives me missions. He's like my master, except I would gladly turn on him. But I would never team up with Sonic (a blue hedgehog, "The Fastest Thing Alive"). There's also Maria, a girl who died a long time ago, but I don't want to talk about her right now…

All the others are pretty much a blur in my mind. I can't remember much about my past, but someday I'll figure out everything. I want to know what happened long ago. Dr. Eggman tells me that I was created for evil, but Rouge tells me that I was created for good. I don't know which one is telling the truth; but someday I will.

All of this is very confusing. I don't have any clues to my past. Nothing. It's like there's a black hole in my mind. And I never have spare time to think about it, either. I'm always either going on a mission, or hanging out with Rouge; and I'm _not_ going to spend my time with Rouge thinking. I really like being around her. She's very kind to me and is my best friend. I don't know if she likes me yet, but someday—probably a time when we only have about a minute to live—she'll tell me. I just know it…

I'm surprised I had all this time to myself to think. It's kind of amazing. Rouge is usually hovering around me, wanting to know what's on my mind. But I could never tell her; she wouldn't understand. Neither would Dr. Eggman. I can't tell either one, and that hurts me.

There's so much to do and so much to see. It all rushes into my mind and crowds up my thoughts—and my past. I don't remember much about Maria, but I _do _remember that she was killed by humans. I promised to avenge her. She was like a sister to me. The only friend I had, and they took her away. If I were a wimp like Sonic, I'd be crying right now, but that's just not me. Now if Rouge died, maybe I'd cry, but I'm not that predictable. No one knows the real me.

There have been many times when I almost confessed to Rouge that I loved her because I thought she was going to die. That's the hard part of relationships; you never know when the other is going to die. I hope I die before Rouge because I couldn't bare to watch her go. And if Rouge dies before me, I'll end up killing myself because there's no reason to live without Rouge.

It surprises me that Dr. Eggman doesn't know about my feelings for Rouge. I mean, I'm with her all the time, and I save her, and I am concerned about her feelings. One time, I embarrassed myself—which I didn't realize until later—by freaking out when Rouge got a papercut. I'm so stupid.

It hurts me to know that the only woman I will ever love will probably never have feelings for me. The reason I say that is because Rouge only goes on a mission if there's a Chaos Emerald involved. Now, don't get me wrong, I know there were some sparks when we first met, and I like that, but Rouge must have been thinking of using me for Chaos Emeralds at that moment. Like I said, it hurts me.

Sometimes, I not only doubt our relationship, but also our friendship. We're drifting away from each other. I'm thinking more of my past than Rouge; and Rouge is thinking more of Chaos Emeralds than me. I'm also thinking about Maria more, and if Rouge _does_ have feelings for me, she might think that I don't care for her. That I care more for Maria. I don't want us to split up. Rouge is my whole world, and I'd do anything for her. Anything.

Chapter 2

I started spending more time with Rouge after she comforted me about Maria. She told me that sometimes we lose people close to us; she was right. She said that she understood my pain, but I'm starting to think she was lying. Rouge does lie a lot—now that I think about it, she lies to me almost everyday! She lies to everyone. The worst part is that she gets away with it. She's so tricky…

I talked to Dr. Eggman about it, and he said that he also thought she lied a lot. We both took a moment to think, and then Dr. Eggman asked me how many times a day she's lied to me. I told him that I figured at least once. We were silent. I think the silence worried Rouge because she came into the room quickly. She asked why it was so quiet, and that is was so quiet that she could hear herself breathing. I told her that Dr. Eggman and I were just talking. She asked me what we were talking about and I pretended that I was tired. I went to the room in which I slept and lyed down on the bed. Now, I was actually feeling tired. I fell asleep minutes later and dreamt of a world with no wars or fights; a world where everything was quiet and peaceful. Rouge and I were sitting in a meadow, and I could see a wedding ring on my and Rouge's finger. It was a peaceful dream, and I think I smiled in my sleep.

Rouge and I always have missions. I know because I always have something to do for Dr. Eggman, and Rouge is either working for Dr. Eggman or for the president. She's a part-time spy. At this moment she is with the president. Since no one is around, I will talk about her some more. She has aqua green eyes, but I like to think of them as china blue. I don't know; it's just something about blue eyes that turns me on. I saved her from Prison Island once, and I think she appreciates it a lot. I could have just saved the Chaos Emeralds that she had, but I love her. And that was a big clue—I saved Rouge, but didn't want to save Chris. I wanted to leave him there, but he grabbed me as I was teleporting away. That kid annoys me.

Talking about that kid made me think of Maria. In some ways, he looks just like her. I can't help it. Every time I see him, I see her. It's the same with Rouge. Rouge is like a replacement Maria, except I'm in love with her. Maria was more of a sister to me. Rouge is more of a secret crush. Rouge shows affection towards me, but I'm convinced that she's just flirting to get her way. She's really good at that. Maria was the only friend I had until I came to earth. She made me happy, and now I can't even smile anymore. I miss her.

I'm on the verge of tears as I write this sad section and listen to a certain sad song on the radio. Even though it's sung by a woman, it's my favorite song and it makes me think of Rouge and I being together. My favorite line is: Baby, you're all that I want, when you're lying here in my arms. It makes me think of hugging Rouge—and loving her. Maybe one day, I'll tell her my feelings for her, and she'll tell me of her feelings for me. There are many songs I would dedicate to Rouge, but this is the most powerful and romantic. It really catches my emotions. My emotions for Rouge…

It's hard to tell someone how you feel about them. I've tried many times, but all failed. I either got nervous and stuttered, or I didn't even have the guts to try. Sometimes, even _I_ can make myself look weak. Sonic's not the only one. Some people think of me as emotionless; that's not true. I can be very emotional. Especially towards Rouge. She doesn't know it yet, but I really really like her. She's the only woman I know that's not dead. And I'm always by her side. I hope to show my emotions to her one day; it's just hard.

Now that I think about it, Rouge probably has other things on her mind. She doesn't have time to be fooling around with boys. She doesn't even have time for Knuckles, who she seems to really like. Everything's just so complicated.

Rouge is a devil in disguise. She's very cunning and sneaky. She only does something if the price is right. She doesn't like catches and wants something for working. She will take diamonds, Chaos Emeralds, rubies, and anything else you can think of that sparkles and has value. If she's in a good mood, she'll take something with less value, but she's not likely to do that.

Dr. Eggman has many things set aside for Rouge when she does something for him. The only thing he won't give her is Chaos Emeralds. She gets enough Chaos Emeralds from the president. Sometimes, she even tries to persuade people to give her what she wants for free.

People are so easy to manipulate. Knuckles is like puddy in Rouge's hand, and even Dr. Eggman is persuaded sometimes. Rouge hasn't tried very many times to manipulate me because she knows how hard it is. When she flirts with me, I just look away or give her a blank look. I'm the only person she's failed to persuade. Now I'm finding myself bragging; that's not like me. I guess it's just hard not to brag about yourself.

That made me think of Rouge again. She is very full of herself, and even though I was not in the room, Topaz told me that one time she said, "I love them all. They're bright 'n beautiful…Like me." Then she laughed. Here's the whole story: The president wants to find Dr. Eggman. Everyone does. Rouge and Topaz appear in the room. The president tells them that he will pay them to find Dr. Eggman. Topaz asks what. The president says: "Anything you want. Diamonds, rubies, you name it." Rouge says: "I love them all. They're bright 'n beautiful…Like me." Rouge laughs. Topaz says: "Oh, brother." That's the story. I told you Rouge was full of herself.

No one thinks I'm full of myself, because I'm not. I think of others very often—such as Rouge, Maria, and even Dr. Eggman. They are on my mind a lot. Sonic is also on my mind from time to time. I just don't think very nice thoughts of him. Some people are on my mind more than others. Rouge and Maria are the top two. They are kind of equal. Sometimes I think of Rouge a whole day and sometimes I think of Maria a whole day. It just depends on what mood I'm in.

* * *

Well, here it is…the last section of my autobiography. I'd say I hoped you enjoyed it, but then I would sound like a sissy. Heh. Anyways, I know there's no way me and Rouge could ever be. Sometimes, I hope for the best and wait for Father Fate to give me a chance to get with Rouge, but the chance never comes. Well reader, I guess this is good-bye. -_-

_-Shadow the Hedgehog_


End file.
